ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize