Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Farmville is her only friend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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