I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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