hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
