I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk is not a location!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
