Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize