well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
