some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
