wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
