I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
