you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize