marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
