i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
