you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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