do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
