dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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