Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
