I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
