Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
