I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize