There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
