party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize