things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
