So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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