you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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