I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
