Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
