He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
