oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
