I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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