go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
