Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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