true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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