That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
