the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, beer. Big fan.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
