now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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