All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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