this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
