the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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