Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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