I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize