For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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