So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
