dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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