no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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