I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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