We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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