Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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