I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
