pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
