Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize