Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
