Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
