What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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