I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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