Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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